SIMPLICITY

RATHER THAN LOVE, THAN MONEY, THAN FAME, GIVE ME TRUTH. - THOREAU-

Monday, November 16, 2009

THE HIGHWAY MAN

THE wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding—
Riding—riding—
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn door
-Alfred Noyes-

Saturday, November 14, 2009

ON THE UP SIDE


Today was a great deal better, at first I lay in bed wanting to cover myself in darkness but the noonday sun just wouldn't allow it. So I got up, and went for a walk. Chapel street was abuzz with activity - people getting in early with their Christmas shopping. For all the side effects that come with my medications at least now I don't spiral down uncontrollably but rather I slip down and am then able to climb my way back up again. And I'm able to do this with little effort, without becoming fatigued.

Friday, November 13, 2009

MELANCHOLIA


I've been pretty down today - the worst day I've had for quite awhile. You start to think the depression is no longer there, that maybe you can cut down on some of these meds you're taking....but Alas! you have a day like today. A day where you wish with all your might that you could just disappear. I had a job interview on Tuesday, it was a casual encounter over coffee and at its close I was assured that I would be contacted that afternoon - three days later I still haven't heard from them. I rang up today to talk to the lady in question & she was away - til next Wednesday! I was informed that she would be contacted and that she would ring me back this afternoon but again no call came. Yesterday the negative thoughts started to creep in - that no one wants to employ me etc etc, despite the actuality of me being way overqualified for the position. And then the anger - of people not keeping to their word and of being sloppy and disorganised. I know they seemed awfully busy and as an employment agency had a lot of other job seekers to deal with but I can't stop myself from thinking negative thoughts. I go through the motions of CBT but still it's THERE! At least it's reactionary, and the lows are nowhere near as bad as they used to be. Let's hope it passes soon - that's one thing you can always rely on, that everything passes with time.....everything including me.

FRIDAY 13th: A Witches Incantation


"Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble."

Saturday, November 7, 2009

MY SHELL


I want to dedicate the following passage from Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights" to a dear & treasured friend of mine. My sincerest hope is that one day you will allow yourself to be loved....this world is too dark & lonely a place to walk through it alone.

While enjoying a month of fine weather at the sea - coast, I was thrown into the company of a most fascinating creature, a real goddess, in my eyes, as long as she took no notice of me. I never "told my love" vocally; still if looks have a language, the merest idiot might have guessed I was head over ears: she understood me, at last, and looked a return - the sweetest of all imaginable looks - and what did I do? I confess it with shame - shrunk icily into myself, like a snail, at every glance retired colder and farther; till; finally, the poor innocent was led to doubt her own senses, and, overwhelmed with confusion at her supposed mistake, persuaded her mamma to decamp.
By this curious turn of disposition I have gained the reputation of deliberate heartlessness, how undeserved, I alone can appreciate.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

WILD THINGS


ROCK ISLAND BEND - Peter Dombrovskis

"In Wildness Is the
Preservation of the World"

-Thoreau-

Saturday, October 31, 2009

HAPPY HALLOWEEN


Would you dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

Would you offer you throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

THE TREE OF FORGIVENESS


Riddled with remorse I reach out.
Naked, I plead for forgiveness.
I turn to run & hide, ashamed -
afraid that I have been rejected....once again.
But you grab hold, & won't let go
don't let me go

....don't let me go

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ETERNAL


"called back"
- epitaph of Emily Dickinson-

REMEMBRANCE


Cold in the earth - and the deep snow piled above thee,
Far, far, removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
Severed at last by Time's all severing wave?

Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern-leaves cover
Thy noble heart for ever, ever more?

Cold in the earth - and fifiteen wild Decembers,
From those brown hills, have melted into spring:
Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
After such years of change and suffering!

Sweet love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
While the world's tide is bearing me along;
Other desires and other hopes beset me,
Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!

No later light has lightened up my heaven,
No second morn has ever shone for me;
All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,
All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.

But, when the days of golden dreams had perished,
And even Despair was powerless to destroy;
Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,
Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy.

Then did I check the tears of useless passion-
Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
Dare not indulge in memory's rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
How could I seek the empty world again?

- Emily Bronte


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO EEYORE


"Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning," he said. "Which I doubt," said he.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it."
"Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
"Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush."
- A.A. MILNE-

Monday, October 19, 2009

SPRING


SPRING has finally arrived in Melbourne ..........better late than never. It was wonderful to feel the sun on my face as I walked to the market this morning, it does my mood the world of good too.

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems."

~Rainer Maria Rilke


Friday, October 16, 2009

POOH, PIGLET & THE SWINE FLU

Don't you just love this!

Monday, October 12, 2009

10TH OCTOBER - "WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY"

World Mental Health Day on 10 October raises public awareness about mental health issues. The Day promotes more open discussion of illnesses, and investments in prevention and treatment services.

TODAY'S TREASURE




I had a brief but wonderful visit from my brother Steven & his wife Donna. The weather was perfect & we enjoyed a trip around Southbank & part of South Yarra.

Friday, September 25, 2009

TODAY'S TREASURE


Getting caught in the Melbourne rain & becoming drenched to the bone!

"A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning" - James Dickey

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

CONTACT


I am facing a dilemma, I have tracked down an old friend and don't know whether to try and make contact. We originally had a falling out about a decade ago over something I did. At the time she had two small children, was living with the father but was receiving single parent payments & little to no money from him - one of the children were sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Meanwhile at the time, he was driving around in a $65K car and buying doodads for himself. My response was to contact Centrelink (social security) - in fact it wasn't even me who made the phone call, it was my husband. It was a big mistake. I wrote to her asking for her forgiveness about 5 years ago but heard nothing back. I don't know whether to just move on & put it all behind me or to give it another shot. We shared a lot of fun times together despite being so vastly different. I do miss her - I think of her all the time.

Monday, September 7, 2009

TODAY'S TREASURE



My husband & I have just discovered "True Blood" & got through the whole of season one in just two sittings! It's been ages since a TV show has delighted me so much - I just love it. It brings together so many of the things I like such as vampires & folklore - all with a spicy Cajun flavour. Watch it!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

TODAY'S TREASURE


The first day of Spring!
Despite the day being grey I could still sense it.....the change. I threw off my jacket and put on a floral scent & went along with a song in my heart.

"No matter how long the winter, Spring is sure to follow"
-proverb-

Sunday, August 30, 2009

TODAY'S TREASURE



Getting home moments before the rain & capturing a beautiful rainbow just on dusk.

"My father says that there is only one perfect view, that of the sky over our heads." (George Emerson in A Room with a View by E.M. Forster)