BROKEN

I have not been posting of late as my computer has decided to do bizarre & weired things - it's beyond infected, it's dead. So hopefully I will be back on line once my laptop is fixed or I get a new one. I think I may go for a Mac this time, my husband never seems to have any problems with his.

FEBRUARY 7TH 2009

Here are pictures I took of the sky over the southern suburbs of Melbourne on February 7th - the day of the bushfires.....the day from Hell. Who knew then what was taking place under this same sky only miles away - the extent of the death & devastation. My thoughts & prayers are with all those effected during this time of trial.

& I pray for rain.

FROM HELL

I've been feeling pretty unwell these past few days & have spent most of the time sweating & sleeping - hopefully all I have is a virus, as my eyes & throat are burning. This isn't good though as I have medical reviews later this week with the endocrinologist & the psychiatrist & I always try to put my best foot (or face) forward when I see them. I fear that they will decide to change my medication - a process which will require time off work. I guess we'll just have to see what the latest blood tests reveal. I want so much to be well, the moment I overextend myself (even just a little) I feel the consequences & I long for the cooler weather so I will no longer sweat like a madman.

But I have Life & for this I should be greatful. I feel so selfish when I navel gaze like this especially when more than 107 people have just lost their lives and hundreds more their homes in the worst bush fires Victoria has ever seen. Saturday was so eerie - the skies were grey the winds were raging through 47 degree heat, it was as they say "the day from hell."

Tonight on the ABC is a program "Stephen Fry - the secret life of the Manic Depressive" - which should be interesting to watch.

VISITATIONS

I have these moments

between sleep & awake

moments when I'm no longer here

& you're no longer there

where then & now collide

I treasure these moments

however fleeting they might be

they are glimpses of another world

where you & I still dwell

as lovers, as friends

Together once more

in blissful sanctuary

KNOWING

I am putting the call out to anyone who has "psychic" experiences on a regular basis. Lately I have found myself to be in a place where they are happening nearly every day. My husband often says to me that I reply to things that he doesn't even say out loud & the other day it happened in a taxi cab when I said to the driver "No, the street up ahead is High street not Toorak road" & the cab driver looked at me & said "I didn't ask that out loud" but I heard him as clear as day. I am also certain that people put off odours when they are ill - I can always tell when my husband is getting sick in this way, even before he becomes symptomatic. The dying give off a particularly distinct smell. I got a lot of strange looks the other day when I was at a lecture about CPR in the community & we were talking about the signs of life & I said "You just know when someone has died.....it's as if they have left the room" - but there were also some people there who I'm sure knew exactly what I was talking about.