AT ONE

Once during a hypomanic episode I booked a room & stayed at a Bed & Breakfast at Montville. I remember how in touch I felt with everything around me, how in harmony. When I would get like this everything became about "me". For instance I was out bushwalking (alone) & there was a sign which read something like “Caution, all children should be accompanied by an adult” – I read this as being just for me, a message from God the Father to me his Child. That same day I believed I heard the waters of the creek speak to me, or shall I say God speaking to me through the waters. He was telling me to take a look & feel how ‘smooth’ - how ‘secure’ the rocks were which were cleansed by his running waters & in contrast to feel how ‘rugged’ - how ‘slippery & dangerous’ the rocks were at the bottom of the pool in which the waters lay stagnant. I was one with God – thinking of it now it reminds me of Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha. This was a grandiose delusion, I’m lucky I didn’t slip, hit my head, fall in & drown. I still have moments like this all the time but I consciously make myself take note of hazards & risks, and I recognise these moments for what they truly are.