SIMPLICITY

RATHER THAN LOVE, THAN MONEY, THAN FAME, GIVE ME TRUTH. - THOREAU-

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

BECAUSE I'M WORTH IT!


Slowly, over the last 6 months, I have been buying more things for myself. It used to be that I'd only have one pair of shoes & had to be forced to go out & buy new clothes. I believe that this stemmed mostly from a lack of self esteem & a feeling that I just 'wasn't worth the effort'. I used to believe that women who were 'into nice things' were superficial but I have since reneged on this assumption. I have grown to love shopping (not too much) & to love being female.

As a result of my Bipolar depression I put on over 20 kgs in the past 9-10 years - I have since lost 10kgs & the rest is slowly falling away. My psychiatrist states that weight gain is common due to the marked psychomotor retardation - I'm sure it also doesn't help if you're as fond of chocolate & soft drinks as I am. I'm looking forward to hopefully being slim again, but I do believe it doesn't really matter what size you are, it is how comfortable you are in your own skin - how 'confident' you are that matters most. I am not comfortable at all being bigger - I have these tiny wrists & tiny ankles....I look all out of whack! I was thin for most of my life, when I look back I only really started to pack it on when I met my husband & began to settle down. I hate the fact that it is really the only part of my life where I lack discipline. It's so hard to lose weight, I just wish I had someone here to go thorough it with me.

So I'm going to start with the last 10 -12 kgs today & you are my witness. On my days off work (when & if I get back to work) I will walk at least 1hr a day & I will limit my kilojoule content to 5,000kj per day - aiming for a loss of .5 to 1kg loss a week! If you are out there in a similar situation you can do it with me. I'll use this photo of me in slimmer days back in 2000 as inspiration (& cause it's the only one I've got) - but in it I'm pigging out on cheesecake!

Today I am going to make the best of the fine weather & go hit St Kilda!

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