THE BIG DAY

A dear friend of mine is getting married in 10 days & as happens with most brides she is going through the whole gamut of emotions. Wedding days are such a stressful event no matter how simple you try to make them. I remember that my own was fraught with problems – little problems that perhaps no one saw but to me they seemed huge on the day. Apparently the average Australian wedding costs approximately $28,700 & takes 2 years to plan – ours cost about $4,300 & took less than 6 months.

Here is a list of the things that weren’t quite right:

1. My skin, as it is prone to do at stressful times, had broken out

2. My friend who was going to help with my hair & makeup became ill & wasn’t able to do it at the last minute & I had to do my own

3. The roses I had ordered were not enough & I had to rush around buying them from anywhere I could find some – then I had to arrange them

4. I’d forgotten to order contact lenses for myself so the whole thing happened in a hazy blur & I found it hard to focus for the photos

5. My Cousin & his family turned up late & entered via the side door right in the middle of us exchanging vows

6. My Uncles mobile telephone went off in the middle of the ceremony

7. The gentleman doing the sound didn’t quite get the music right on que

8. The candles that my nieces were holding blew out cause someone went & opened all the blasted windows in the church despite it being quite cool for February

9. Things were awkward between my husband & my mum (they’re still not each others greatest fan but relations have improved considerably)

10. My mum, who was in charge of the food for the kids, forgot to get it ready & my sister in law had to end up doing it

11. I fell down the stairs on my honeymoon & spent the rest of it bruised & sore with a big fat lip

12. I forgot to send out thank you cards to people who participated in the wedding – something I plan to do on our next anniversary (this is what I regret the most)

The list does go on, & in retrospect I bought most of it upon myself as I decided to do everything myself – from designing and making the invitations & order of service to designing the dress & getting my aunt to help make it, to preparing the flowers & the food. Way too much stress. But looking back, overall it was a wonderful day & more importantly, I have a wonderful marriage. After all it’s just one day out of the rest of your lives together.

My first year of marriage was perhaps the toughest of my life, I wondered if I’d made the right decision – not in regards to my husband but in getting married altogether. I found it hard to adjust to the invasion of my personal space & privacy which I had always held so dear. But over the years I have been able to redefine my boundaries & reclaim that part of me that I keep to myself. My husband is my closest & dearest friend & we just get happier & more comfortable with one another as the years pass. We look back on our wedding day now with joy & laughter as we recall the moments of that day, like dancing to “Sunshine on my shoulders” in the dining room surrounded by family & friends. We have a good life together, we’re one of the “lucky” ones …one of the “blessed”. And you will be too Jan, I just know it.