What a strange day I’ve had. First there was my post about how I was going to take a break from nursing & then my mother rang & relayed a story she had read in a magazine – it was about Dr Rachel Harvey who had actually worked at Mackay Base hospital when my husband & I worked there in 2000. Apparently since then she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she had a breakdown and left emergency medicine. She took a period of eight months off work to recover & now she works as a general practitioner for a small town in north Queensland. She was considering leaving medicine altogether due to the stress but persisted & her illness is now well managed.
This got me to thinking, what exactly would I do if I didn’t do nursing? It would have to be something without qualifications; this would probably mean entering the retail or hospitality industries. I definitely couldn’t work in a place which included the use of animal products - I just can’t stand the smell. And as much as I like pretty pampering things I don’t think I could sell them. There is no other career that I want to train for – I did six months of a Law degree & hated it. I don't think I could ever be a teacher. I do want to study creative writing as part of a graduate diploma in Arts but this will not necessarily result in employment. And so it was that I came back to nursing, there is a part of me that still wants to be a nurse. I just don’t like the harsh reality of it (maybe I’ve just had bad experiences). I believe I just need to hold on to why I chose nursing to begin with; there will always be the huge divide between theory & practice in any profession. You will always get lazy people who are just there to collect their pay check at the end of the week, those who really don’t care.
What I realised the other day at work was that I am far from being well, the moment the slightest bit of stress & strain was added I fell apart. I need to rebuild myself & my self esteem. Right now despite what my curriculum vitae may say I feel as though I know nothing – for some reason I have lost all confidence in myself & my abilities. Apparently this is quite a common feature of a major depressive illness. So I won’t divorce nursing from myself just yet, I think that may be a little premature. It took Rachel 8 months & from what I recall she is an extremely strong woman, so I need to give myself some time & when I’m ready nursing will be there waiting for me.
This got me to thinking, what exactly would I do if I didn’t do nursing? It would have to be something without qualifications; this would probably mean entering the retail or hospitality industries. I definitely couldn’t work in a place which included the use of animal products - I just can’t stand the smell. And as much as I like pretty pampering things I don’t think I could sell them. There is no other career that I want to train for – I did six months of a Law degree & hated it. I don't think I could ever be a teacher. I do want to study creative writing as part of a graduate diploma in Arts but this will not necessarily result in employment. And so it was that I came back to nursing, there is a part of me that still wants to be a nurse. I just don’t like the harsh reality of it (maybe I’ve just had bad experiences). I believe I just need to hold on to why I chose nursing to begin with; there will always be the huge divide between theory & practice in any profession. You will always get lazy people who are just there to collect their pay check at the end of the week, those who really don’t care.
What I realised the other day at work was that I am far from being well, the moment the slightest bit of stress & strain was added I fell apart. I need to rebuild myself & my self esteem. Right now despite what my curriculum vitae may say I feel as though I know nothing – for some reason I have lost all confidence in myself & my abilities. Apparently this is quite a common feature of a major depressive illness. So I won’t divorce nursing from myself just yet, I think that may be a little premature. It took Rachel 8 months & from what I recall she is an extremely strong woman, so I need to give myself some time & when I’m ready nursing will be there waiting for me.
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