From a very early age I can recall seeing people who were not ‘really there’. Sometimes they just looked like regular everyday people, when this happened it was usually just for a split second, like driving past in a fast car or something. The other types were ones that lingered in the shadows, the ones that would rise up to greet me out of the darkness. The ones that would keep me awake at night, frozen…too scared to get up & turn on the light. As the years passed I learned to welcome them, to almost invite them in to take up residence in my mind. I hardly spoke of them, I kept it to myself but if I did speak of it I made light of the subject. I now know that this was and is part of my illness, and that these visitations usually coincide with a euphoric, agitated state which requires little to no sleep – in other words ‘psychosis’.
I was also practically blind by the time I was 17 - uncorrected Myopia can result in a myriad of visual distortions.
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