SIMPLICITY

RATHER THAN LOVE, THAN MONEY, THAN FAME, GIVE ME TRUTH. - THOREAU-

Friday, September 26, 2008

PSYCHOMOTOR RETARDATION


The psychomotor disturbance is back this morning. I have had my NSRI's & have just downed 2 consecutive energy drinks just to get myself moving. At least I’m not curled up in a ball in bed. That’s the main difference with bipolar depression – the psychomotor retardation, you even blink slowly. Before undergoing specific treatment for bipolar I was lucky if I got myself out of bed in the morning – I’d get up & try to get myself off to work & I’d doze off again, sometimes I’d even be sitting on the toilet or under the shower. I’d then get nauseated & vomit – the keys were in the ignition but the motor she just wouldn’t start. I HATED mornings -they were just a blur, I believe this is why my love of vampire & witches tales developed - I shared an affiliation of sorts.

I have to laugh when they say that depression (especially melancholic bipolar depression) cannot be seen, that it is an ailment that is 'invisible'. Mine is as visible as the nose on my face. At times the anxiety which accompanies it is so savage that it is the first thing you do see when you look at me. So it's not purely psychological in nature, it may be partially psychological in origin but it definitely manifests itself physically as well.

The Black Dog Institute explains bipolar depression really well, if you're interested you can read about this in more detail via the following link: http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/bipolardisorder/bipolardisorderexplained/bipolardepression.cfm

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