I am facing a dilemma, I have tracked down an old friend and don't know whether to try and make contact. We originally had a falling out about a decade ago over something I did. At the time she had two small children, was living with the father but was receiving single parent payments & little to no money from him - one of the children were sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Meanwhile at the time, he was driving around in a $65K car and buying doodads for himself. My response was to contact Centrelink (social security) - in fact it wasn't even me who made the phone call, it was my husband. It was a big mistake. I wrote to her asking for her forgiveness about 5 years ago but heard nothing back. I don't know whether to just move on & put it all behind me or to give it another shot. We shared a lot of fun times together despite being so vastly different. I do miss her - I think of her all the time.
7 comments:
Strange you write about this, I had a dream your friend was living in Scarborough just a few nights ago, it was an unsettling dream. It was so odd, I will tell you about the dream when I speak with you next. xx
I should add, in the dream I couldn't wait to tell you I had found your friend.
I wish you well with this and hope for a reconciliation.
I think you should contact your friend. If she rejects you, then move on. If she doesn't you have her friendship back.
Sue you know I had suffered so much, things I could never tell, people always thought I was so strong but all I had was my little boy and baby girl. She was only months old when your husband rang centrelink,you thought that he would wake up but he never suffered, he was never questioned. You know it was me who was questioned and treated like a criminal at centrelink, I sat in a tiny cubicle and was a clear vision for all to see, I was alone with no support, except for lifeline who provided food when I could not afford it, to proud to ask, and to ashamed to talk to my family after all hadn't I got myself where I was. My son was a little toddler and a new baby in my arms, I had failed them because I could not put up with his abuse but here I was being interrogatged whilst my baby cried on my lap, and tears fell down my cheeks in embarressment. The memory remains distinct, but by doing this you had not hurt him, he did not even know what had transpired,(not even until this day) only your best friend who needed you so much all those years ago. Life is short and pain dulls, we are human, memories of love and time spent together remain far stronger than those of hurt, I miss u 2.. your friend xx
Tears at this....I'm so sorry for the pain I caused. I have no excuse, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Thank you Deb once again for your forgiveness. xox
I understand the reasons, it has taken some time, sorry that it caused pain, you know me Sue that part of me has never changed, I hold my hurt deep as you do to, think back to my mental health issues you told me did not exist, when I left university through sheer depression and anxiety issues, you had religion for which I could not even begin to undertand in the state and place I was in, I was floundering, I look at my mark the same one you have, you said you looked into removal? But why? should it not represent who we were, are and maybe our future pact, I will never remove it becasue it represents our friendship. I like you have had so much living and growing to do and I guess may not have been ready to fully understand and reply sooner, my priorities where my children and just surviving. Life makes us learn from mistakes as you once used to quote to me that mistakes are our greatest lessons, life is our teacher. There is no forgiveness just a lesson.
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