MELANCHOLIA

I've been pretty down today - the worst day I've had for quite awhile. You start to think the depression is no longer there, that maybe you can cut down on some of these meds you're taking....but Alas! you have a day like today. A day where you wish with all your might that you could just disappear. I had a job interview on Tuesday, it was a casual encounter over coffee and at its close I was assured that I would be contacted that afternoon - three days later I still haven't heard from them. I rang up today to talk to the lady in question & she was away - til next Wednesday! I was informed that she would be contacted and that she would ring me back this afternoon but again no call came. Yesterday the negative thoughts started to creep in - that no one wants to employ me etc etc, despite the actuality of me being way overqualified for the position. And then the anger - of people not keeping to their word and of being sloppy and disorganised. I know they seemed awfully busy and as an employment agency had a lot of other job seekers to deal with but I can't stop myself from thinking negative thoughts. I go through the motions of CBT but still it's THERE! At least it's reactionary, and the lows are nowhere near as bad as they used to be. Let's hope it passes soon - that's one thing you can always rely on, that everything passes with time.....everything including me.