TODAY'S TREASURE

Walking 2km in the Melbourne rain, the most rain we've had in 3 long years - I could have walked 5 more!

THE BUSHWALKERS PRAYER

On our travels Sam & I went on a hike out to a waterfall, whilst making our way back up, Sam, who was about 100 metres ahead, cried out "God, my calves hurt" and then BANG she hit her head on an overlying branch. Once I saw she was okay I laughed, commenting that God must have heard her cry, to which Sam replied "what do you mean?" - "well, I bet you've forgotten all about your blasted calves now", we both laughed & ploughed onwards.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Being informed that I was successful with my interveiw & start work in late December.

THE SEA

Relentless it surges on
making its mark;
carving out its legacy
upon the earth.
Its’ persistent pursuit
of destruction,
lingering long after
both you &
I have
gone;
being whittled slowly away,
like monolithic monuments,
by this life –
by this
death

REALITY

Well I'm back home & off to my job interview this morning. We had a wonderful time - the place we stayed at looked like Alan Bates was going to be standing behind the shower curtain with a knife at the ready but besides that it was okay - at least it was clean. Got a bad case of cotton mouth this morning - blasted nerves! And I can barely walk cause of all the tramping around the countryside we did, I really need to improve my fitness. Well, I'm off - wish me luck (I'll need it).

BREAK

I'm off to the Great Ocean road for a couple of days, wish me luck as I haven't driven a car in a little over a year. Apparently the weather is not going to be too great but it will be interesting to photograph the 12 apostles in stormy weather.

CHANGE

I sense something has changed in me, and I can't seem to put my finger on exactly what it is. I have grown up in this world fiercely protected by old fashioned parents and 3 older brothers, any danger that has come my way I have placed there, seeking it out like an adventurer. Part of me has always been held back though, as if it's waiting in anticipation for my real life to start - well guess what? this is it.....welcome to your life! It may be due to my recently developed dedication to "living in the now" or it may be that I'm finally growing up - that I'm finally accepting my place, my vocation. It's strange but I never realised how important being a nurse was to me till I had it taken away & threatened by illness. And I am only just now acknowledging the gravity and weight of our decision not to have children - my decision not to have children (as my husband has a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship). It's a huge decision. To a certain extent I have always pitied people who get into old age & have no children of their own, I have to accept that I will one day be one of them, if I live long enough. It's not like I am reconsidering my decision, because I'm not - We are both far too set in our ways & selfish to have a child, and considering both of my illnesses are hereditary I believe it is best for me not to procreate. But I will treasure & cherish the people I have in my life, and for the first time I think this will include myself.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Playing Wii Sport & getting my arse whipped big time!

TODAY'S TREASURE

Getting to buy my niece her first Krispy Kreme donut

FEELING GOOD

The doctor said I'd be feeling a difference in a week - well it's only been 2 days & I can feel the difference. For one thing my heart rate is up by about 15 - 20 beats per minute (it was getting terribly low) and I somehow feel lighter, like it's easier to move myself around. I don't feel so sluggish; my husband says I'm even talking faster! All good things - I think I may be fixed!

I also got word today that I have an interview next Friday for a district nurse position here in Melbourne & I feel confident that I should get it. Things are looking good, and the next 10 days should be a load of fun with my niece Sam - she arrives tomorrow morning.

Youtube link: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=jBEYyHGbwto

DUCK!

I remember this one time when I was about 12 years old & mum left me at the duck pond near the car while she ducked in (sic) to get some groceries. There was this one particular duck that followed me everywhere - I jumped up on the bench - it followed, I got up on the table & it got up on the table. God we must have looked a sight. Bloody bird must have loved terrorising young children.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Having a Slurpee from 7-Eleven at the end of a long hot day. They always remind me of when I was a kid - on Saturday nights we would buy Aussie Rooster & a Slurpee and go sit and eat it at the local duck pond. I loved those evenings with my mum, dad & brothers.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Getting caught out on the balcony by my neighbour whilst I was talking & singing to my plants.

WELL

I had my appointment with the endocrinologist this morning & had my swallowing & everything checked out - he says that we've "caught" the Hashimoto's relatively early & therefore no surgery will be needed (thank goodness!). He's started me on hormone treatment & hopefully my energy levels will improve & the aches will go away. Isn't it strange, I'm a nurse & I didn't even notice that I had the classic symptoms of Thyroid disease - the weight fluctuations, temperature disregulation, the increased brittleness of my hair & nails, the pins & needles and the list really does go on......I always thought it was all in my head & blamed the depression. The specialist said I should see an improvement within a week - how wonderful! He also hinted, in a polite manner, to get off my arse and get back to work. He's right, I've put in one application but as soon as my niece has left I will definitely be on the hunt for work. My biggest fear is that no one will employ me due to my track record over the last 18 months - I've only worked 9 of them & when I did work I was getting sick all the blasted time, I hope someone gives me a chance - I really am a good nurse, when I'm well. And I am well......I'm WELL!

IN REMEMBRANCE December 3rd 1984

For all the people who lost their lives on this day 24 years ago due to the industrial disaster at Bhopal & for all those who are still suffering from its legacy - I hope one day there will be justice & I pray to God, or to whatever good that there is out there, that this never happens again.

"We are not expendable. We are not flowers offered at the altar of profit and power. We are dancing flames committed to conquering darkness and to challenging those who threaten the planet and the magic and mystery of life."

-Rashida Bee, Bhopal survivor-

TODAY'S TREASURE

The smell of fresh coriander chopped up with lime.

KEEPER

I believed you were capable of change
But I guess I was wrong,
Once again.
I’m left to pick up the pieces,
To make them fit -
To create some semblance of a sanctuary,
While you’ll sit like a stone
In a garden only I tended.
I’ll work the soil,
I’ll plant the seeds,
You won’t have to get your hands dirty.
You can welcome friends,
& woo lovers,
In this patch of heavenly earth
In which I've worked each & every day -
Alone.

AIR AND LIGHT AND TIME AND SPACE

Old Hank (aka Bukowski) worked for years in a series of menial jobs he hated just to put food on the table & whiskey down the pipes. Instead of using work as an excuse not to write, Hank used it as a source of inspiration. Love you Buk, here's to you.

"-you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way
but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and the time to
create."

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you're going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you're on
welfare,
you're going to create with part of your mind and your
body blown
away,
you're going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you're going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.

baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don't create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.

-CHARLES BUKOWSKI-

MANNERS

Is it just me or do people just have no manners anymore? First of all I was at Coles doing some grocery shopping & there was an elderly gentleman who was asking for some assistance, 3 sets of people walked by & ignored him, all he wanted was someone to read a label because he'd forgotten his glasses! Then I was walking home, trudging along with my little cart, 34 going on 70, and four grown men were coming towards me, walking abreast of each other. They were taking up the whole of the sidewalk, I clung to the left (as you do) & you'd think they would fall in line but no they just stayed there until I came face to face with one of them & I said politely "excuse me" & I stood my ground, he finally stepped aside, (after he blew the smoke from his cigarette in my face) but it was such an effort. Absolute gentlemen they were ...... charmers.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Seeing my neighbours little 4 year old son in the corridor & getting a big smile & a "Hello"