CHANGE

I’ve had a talk to the psychiatrist about the whole “nursing” thing & he too thinks it’s premature to turn my back on it altogether. He suggested getting out of palliative care & community nursing & to try another branch of nursing – something with a little bit of hope attached to it. He believes that the work I have done in the past may well have precipitated my depressive episodes – he’s probably right. The Alfred hospital here in Melbourne are looking for people to be trained up in Cancer care which involves a series of rotations (radiology, chemotherapy, haematology & research) – that way I can at least put my post grad qualifications to good use.

I think it might be premature to be even thinking about work right now anyhow, I have to concentrate on just getting better. The last few mornings I’ve felt like utter crap, I’ve still been getting up early but I feel sluggish. I’m just so disappointed with myself. Thank God my husband earns a decent wage & we don’t have any debt, otherwise where would we be? Over the last 12 months I have now officially been off work more than I have been at work & my husband hasn’t complained about it once – I’m so fortunate to have him. It terrifies me when I think how close I came to almost breaking it off with my husband when we were first going out, simply because I was a Christian & he was Buddhist. Of how my mother & some of my friends thought him to be ‘unsuitable’ - how wrong they were. Religion....it gets in the way of so much.