Yet another symptom of endogenous depression is feelings of inappropriate guilt. I believe I have been depressed to some degree for at least 20 years – with bursts of hypomania occurring in-between. When my depression gets a real hold of me feelings of guilt pervade my every waking thought – harking back to things I did decades ago. The sense that you are worthless & a bad person soon follows, with the only solution being to punish yourself….or to even kill yourself. I believe these feelings of guilt which I have & do have are closely linked to my hyper religiosity in the past. During these desperate times I would cry out to God in anguish, begging for his forgiveness….over & over again. Yet the guilt remained. Now I know I was mentally ill & that my feelings of guilt were disproportionate to the crime committed.
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