'JUST SNAP OUT OF IT!'

I was talking with my mother just yesterday; my family had gathered recently for a birthday celebration. As usual I was the only one absent. The topic of conversation turned to my ongoing depression & recent bipolar diagnosis & apparently my middle brother exclaimed “I don’t know why she just doesn’t snap out of it” – as if it's an uncomfortable garment that could just be thrown off. Mum should not have relayed this to me; I don’t know why she did – because it broke my heart. I wish I could ‘snap’ out of it, but that’s the difference between this type of depression & others – there is often no cause, no activating event & therefore no source of alleviation. I guarantee that if I had been diagnosed with breast cancer or had even broken my leg I would be looking around the room at flowers & cards right now – but there are none. In fact only one of my three brothers even contacted me & that is because he himself battles with depression. My youngest brother said he didn't call cause he "didn't know what to say" & to that I say - just be there & a simple "Hi...how youg going?" would do just fine. I know that my family believes that I have too much time on my hands; that I'd be just fine if I popped out a few kids or found a job I could work in full time. In other words make myself so busy that life just flies by without having to even think about it at all! I know it must sound like I am feeling sorry for myself, & I am ….I’m going to let myself do that, if that’s okay.