I feel totally and utterly drained today. I had a dreadful nights sleep, waking up on more than one occasion in a lather of sweat. I had night terrors, violent dreams full of gore & a terrible sense of being “alone” - it probably has to do with my husband being away. I never sleep very well when he’s not beside me. In the mornings after a night like that I find it difficult to orientate myself & I feel so drained that it's almost an effort to breathe. I know that sounds ridiculous but it is as if my autonomic nervous system has been in overdrive & is now left fatigued & exhausted from the strain. Everything gets super sensitive too, it’s hard to explain – it’s almost like a myalgia, as if I’m coming down with the flu – an allodynia of sorts, but not. And it just sets the tone for the rest of the day, nothing seems right & all you see are the negatives. I will try to sleep well tonight, even if I have to take a benzo to suppress the REM sleep.
2 comments:
you seem to be doing it tough yet still able to write lucid posts
all i want to say is life for me is as good as it ever was and i have been through dark days a number of times. Medication and getting back into society - which for my avoidant personality (which craves approval) is so important - was what did it for me.
Regards
Thanks for your insights. I think I'm slowly getting there, especially in regards to the medication - I feel a lot more emotionally stable. As for being an avoidant personality type - I know exactly what you mean. I hope to get back to work soon but I'm also terrified of failing again.
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