HERE AT LAST

You know I can't help but feel just a little let down by the medical system, especially when I fiercely defend it (perhaps because I'm a nurse). The last year and a half of my life has been nothing short of a living hell & it's taken even longer than that to get to where I stand right now - with a definitive diagnosis. Even prior to the aerophagia, the heightened anxiety, the rapid cycling of emotions - if I really look at it, It's been slowly getting out of control for the last six years, & getting worse & worse with each passing year. The GP's - getting bloods done, but testing for the wrong things, & so quick to send me to a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist. The psychologists - so readily laying the blame on behavioural aspects of my personality & not really listening to me when I said that when I was well I didn't really have any behavioural problems. I wasted so much money going to see psychologists & got absolutely nothing out of it - nothing! I'm not saying they don't have a place, but they don't for psychiatric illnesses like bipolar. The last psychologist I went to had me diagnosed with general anxiety disorder & depression - when in truth I was rapidly cycling between mania & depression! It's sad to think that if I didn't become violently suicidal that day I'd probably be still back there, suffering. And thank goodness I didn't kill myself.....thank goodness.