I've tried to retrace my steps to exactly when it started....when I really started to lose grip & spiral into what my psychiatrist aptly terms my "burnout". I can probably link it back to when I started to lose faith in God, not only faith but belief in general. I have just finished reading my first book on Buddhism & all I can ask myself is "what drove you to choose that book to read in the first place?". What, am I now going to take up Buddhism? - I don't think so. It's all just the same really isn't it, the promises of immortality, of sense of purpose, the sugar-coating of one's death, the exchange of the corporeal for answers from the "great beyond" . I know that my spiritual life is lacking & needs a lot of restoration, but this need not mean I have to adopt beliefs & practices that I simply don't believe in. I have to laugh when people comment "If you felt so much better when you were a Christian then why don't you start going to church again, and start praying again" - as if it's that simple, I wish it were.What if all we have is here and now, & there are no second chances....that this is it! would that really be so bad? ........well, would it?
2 comments:
Make the most of each and everyday. A spiritual life doesn't have to be an organized religion. It can be the way you feel inside, how you respond to others,your own personal beliefs. Reading bits and pieces of your blog, you seem very spiritual to me. I think being someone who questions life and beliefs is hard, and scary, but in the long run can lead to riches. And no, the here and now is not so bad, if you make the most of it. At least that is what I am trying to learn:)
It is so hard, I know it! I mean, it's a tad unfair that we be plonked on this earth with no instruction manual isn't it?! I think it is.
My goodness I stare at the expansive night sky, I think about how if I was on the other side of the stars I would not see them twinkling - it really is like they were made for us.
Faith the Christians say, we must simply have blind faith. Why? It always comes back to why doesn't it!! Love ya Sue.
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