MERRY CHRISTMAS

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

SPRING

SPRING has finally arrived in Melbourne ..........better late than never. It was wonderful to feel the sun on my face as I walked to the market this morning, it does my mood the world of good too.

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems."

~Rainer Maria Rilke

LIFE AND GROWTH

I have started to look for work again. I feel like a bit of a fraud because I have been looking at part time nursing jobs. The thing is I sincerely gave working in retail some thought but I just can't see myself doing it. The other thing I need to consider is money - I can earn twice as much in nursing. So I'm looking for part time work in a nursing home - a job which should be less stressful & should be less isolating. One of the main things I need to concentrate on is getting out & meeting people (easier said than done). I need to focus on life & growth not death & decay......I can't wait for Spring.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Seeing an exquisite exotic cat asleep on a clients couch. It had apparently set it's owners (the neighbours) back thousands but escapes every chance it gets, spending most of it's time asleep on the old antique chair. Typical cat....can't buy their affection.

I didn't take a photo of it - but it looked a lot like the one in this picture.

ON THE EDGE OF SEVENTY

And with the mild intoxication comes the major humiliation......karaoke anyone? Oh dear, I have food all down my front! Too bad, come on....sing it with me now-

Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...

Ooo... ooo... ooo...
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
And the days go by...
Like a strand in the wind...
In the web that is my own...
I begin again
Said to my friend, baby...
Nothin else mattered
He was no more... than a baby then
Well he... seemed broken hearted...
Something within him
But the moment... that I first laid...
Eyes... on... him... all alone...
On the edge of... seventeen
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...

Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo...
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...

Sounds like shes singing...
Said ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
Well I went today... maybe I will go again...
Tomorrow
Yeah, yeah, well the music there well it was hauntingly...
Familiar
Well I see you doing...
What I try to do for me
With the words from a poet...
And a voice from a choir
And a melody... nothing else mattered
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
The clouds... never expect it...
When it rains
But the sea changes color...
But the sea...
Does not change
And so... with the slow... graceful flow...
Of age I went forth... with an age old...
Desire... to please
On the edge of... seventeen
Oooooooooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo
Well then suddenly...
There was no one... left standing
In the hall... yeah yeah...
In a flood of tears
That no one really ever heard fall at all
Well I went searchin for an answer...
Up the stairs... and down the hall
Not to find an answer...
Just to hear the call
Of a nightbird... singing...
Come away...
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo... baby ooo... said ooo
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song..
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo... baby ooo... said ooo
Well I hear you in the morning...
And I hear you...
At nightfall...
Sometimes to be near you...
Is to be unable... to hear you...
My love...
I'm a few years older than you...
My love
Just like the white winged dove...
Sings a song...
Sounds like shes singing...
Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo

Just like a white winged dove...

sings a song...

sounds like she's singing...

Ooo baby...ooo..ooo

- Stevie Nicks (The Edge of Seventeen)

YouTube link:http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=C1h99XYvLsc

TODAY'S TREASURE

Having my first glass (or two) of alcohol in almost a year & getting just tipsy enough to chatter away cheerfully yet remain just sober enough to know that I'm speaking complete & utter shit!

IN GOOD HANDS

I have a review this afternoon. I can't really explain how I am feeling at the moment, over the last couple of days I have been quiet...withdrawn. There is something about medical reviews that make me feel infantile & helpless, maybe it is all part of 'sick role' behaviour? Will there be any more labels ascribed to me today I wonder? I Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

HERE & NOW

I've tried to retrace my steps to exactly when it started....when I really started to lose grip & spiral into what my psychiatrist aptly terms my "burnout". I can probably link it back to when I started to lose faith in God, not only faith but belief in general. I have just finished reading my first book on Buddhism & all I can ask myself is "what drove you to choose that book to read in the first place?". What, am I now going to take up Buddhism? - I don't think so. It's all just the same really isn't it, the promises of immortality, of sense of purpose, the sugar-coating of one's death, the exchange of the corporeal for answers from the "great beyond" . I know that my spiritual life is lacking & needs a lot of restoration, but this need not mean I have to adopt beliefs & practices that I simply don't believe in. I have to laugh when people comment "If you felt so much better when you were a Christian then why don't you start going to church again, and start praying again" - as if it's that simple, I wish it were.

What if all we have is here and now, & there are no second chances....that this is it! would that really be so bad? ........well, would it?

IN OVER MY HEAD

I am reading my first ever book on Buddhism, at nearly 35 years of age I now how belated this must seem, I blame it on my Baptist upbringing - better late than never I suppose. I am reading a book by Norman Fischer called "Taking our places: the Buddhist path to truly growing up." I'm really enjoying it, the part I'm confused about though is how you are encouraged to become at "one" with nature...at "one" with the "universe" - I have experienced this many times, and it is one of the main reasons why I abstain from meat & animal products, but I have been led to believe that this is delusional thinking & is part of my bipolar illness. I still have these experiences even though I'm medicated so what does that mean? I don't know, maybe I should just keep searching for answers, maybe I should talk to my mother-in-law (she heads a Thai meditation centre in Townsville) - problem is I can hardly understand a bloody word she says & she sounds like she's singing half the time - I love her dearly though...I do, well as much as you can love a mother-in-law.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Making two batches of cupcakes with swirls of pink, purple & blue icing & noticing that only 3 were left after my husband got his hands on them.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Eating my first lot of cherries for the season....I adore Cherries, when I see Cherries I think "it's Christmas!"

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE

When I think about it the only competition I might ever be in with a chance of winning is the record of how many times you’ve read The Catcher in the Rye. I read it on average 1-2 times a year & I think I was about 12 years old when I first read it. I don’t really know what it is, I just love it. To this day it still makes me laugh out loud and sob with tears. To a certain extent I was a female Holden Caulfield – the getting kicked out of school, the cynicism & sarcasm and let’s not forget the mental health issues. I can relate to Holden’s high regard for all things pure & unadulterated, and I can sympathise with him when he comes to realise that we all must grow up.... that innocence is always lost, and that no matter how hard you try you can't always be "the Catcher in the Rye"

I’m so glad that J.D. Salinger refuses to sell the film rights, Holden hates the movies.

TODAY'S TREASURE

My Camelia has 12 buds on it that are just about to open - wonderful news considering I nearly killed the plant 3 weeks ago!

TODAY'S TREASURE

After notifying a certain superannuation company about our change of address a total of 3 times, finally a letter arrives addressed correctly!

TODAY'S TREASURE

Buying new white bath sheets from Sheridan; seeing them come up all nice & soft & fluffy in the wash.....the only perfect towel is a white towel.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Waiting outside the front of the DFO, sharing my hot chips with a Maltese terrier that was tied to a post - both wishing we were someplace else but enjoying each others company nonetheless.

TODAY'S TREASURE

Going shopping to buy my niece Amber Jade a pair of purple Converse for her 16th birthday - remembering how much I loved my red pair when I was young.

TODAY'S TREASURE

On my way to the grocery store I saw a fat juicy caterpilar chomping it's way through a leaf. I smiled wondering what colour it's wings will be after it has undergone its transformation.

YOU BET YOUR LIFE

Now I have heard it all, catholic priest Father Joe Giacobbe has just released a book entitled “The spirit of racing” – a book which attempts to marry his faith in God with his love of horse racing. I can just see Jesus now, trackside praying for his horse to come up with the goods. What a joke!

"THE MUMMERS DANCE"

I absolutely love this song - "the Mummers Dance" by Lorenna McKennitt. Mummers were troupes of actors who took their plays from door to door throughout medieval Europe.

Youtube link: http://www.