SIMPLICITY

RATHER THAN LOVE, THAN MONEY, THAN FAME, GIVE ME TRUTH. - THOREAU-

Friday, November 7, 2008

FRIENDS

I feel pretty good today, I don't know if finding out that my thyroid function is low has helped me psychologically - I suppose it has. At least I now know there is a legitimate cause for the ongoing lethargy & decreased mental alertness despite the NSRI's. I am even entertaining the idea of going back to community health nursing - yep, getting back behind the wheel. It's just such a waste to have three post graduate qualifications in an area & not even work in it! Oh well, one step at a time.

Jan & Sandy will be here tomorrow, which will be great. The only problem being that they want to go to the Direct Factory Outlet (DFO) & the Casino - 2 places which I can't stand! But I'll go along with it, bite my tongue & keep my cards at home. We'll have fun, no matter what we do.

TODAY'S TREASURE


Watching the sheer joy & boyish excitement as my husband loaded the much anticipated Gears of War II into his Xbox console.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The philosophy of Pooh


'Tigger is all right, really,' said Piglet lazily.

'Of course he is,' said Christopher Robin.

'Everybody is really,' said Pooh. 'That's what I think,' said Pooh. 'But I don't suppose I'm right,' he said.

'Of course you are,' said Christopher Robin.

-A. A. MILNE

Dear God,

It is incomprehensible that God should exist, and it is incomprehensible that he should not exist.
-PASCAL-

Dear God, if you can hear me - if you do indeed exist, I beg of you to ease my mind. I plead with you to restore my soul. I'm tired, so very tired......yet from this torment I am granted no peace. Please...Please....have mercy on me.

PLEASE TELL ME.....

How come you always feel more screwed up after you leave a psychiatrists room than before you enter it?

TODAY'S TREASURE


Waiting at the train station, nearby a baby stares at me then giggles.

AT YOUR MERCY


I went off to see the psychiatrist this morning and found out that my last blood tests showed that my thyroid function is abnormally low. So I have to get some more tests done & Throxine might just get added to my daily diet of pills. It would explain why I eat like a bird & still manage to put on weight (due to fluid retention), it would also explain the joint pain I sometimes get, not to mention the lethargy - which can get confusing as these are all symptoms of major depression also. Apparently there is a very strong relationship between bipolar & thyroid function, I knew that there was a link with depression but I didn't know about bipolar. My moods have been all over the shop lately so the Olanzipine dose has been increased & I go back in 12 days time & he should have the results of further blood tests. Things aren't happening as fast as they should be according to the psychiatrist, he wants to start me on a "newer", "more potent" NSRI - what the heck, I'll try anything.....once! I'm completely at your (sic) mercy. So that's my progress up to date.

Oh, and apparently I'm a person of extremely high moral standards & principles which unfortunately leaves me prey to a life full of bitter disappointment! And I nearly forgot, I've been deemed to be back at that place again, where I'm too unwell to work....just lovely!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

REJECTION

On the other hand, I just received notification that my job application was "unsuccessful" - I didn't even get an interview. In my whole nursing career I have never had this happen, I can't help but wonder if it was because I was honest & disclosed my illness. Who knows, it's not like they're ever going to admit it. I got a little upset, shed a few tears - it's never nice to be rejected. I just hope someone does employ me.....what if I'm unemployable? I feel so useless....not such a great day after all.

JAN & SANDY


The most wonderful news, two dear friends from Tasmania are headed to Melbourne this weekend. It will be lovely just to spend some time amongst friends. Why oh why do I find it so difficult to meet new friends? Not a good thing for someone who moves around a lot. But it looks like South Yarra might be it for us, despite all that has happened over the last 18 months we really do like where we live - it got some getting used to but we got there.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

TODAY'S TREASURE


Watching my husband get attacked & eaten by a bear whilst playing Fallout 3 on Xbox 360.

HERE & NOW


When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in eternity before & after, the little space which I fill, and even can see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of space of which I am ignorant, and which knows me not, I am frightened. I am astonished at being here rather than there. Why now rather than then! - PASCAL

SOMEWHERE


Alice: "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

"So long as I get somewhere” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “If you only walk long enough.”


- LEWIS CARROL
(from Alice's adventures in Wonderland)

LEONARDO'S HORSE




Leonardo da Vinci was commissioned by the duke of Milan to create a bronze horse. After years of work on the project, a clay replica was destroyed in 1499. Leonardo died before resuming work on the horse, and before it was ever cast in bronze. In 1977, Charles Dent pledged that he would build the horse and present it to Italy as a gift from the American People. On September 10, 1999, sculptor Nina Akamu completed Dent's dream & the statue was unveiled in Milan five hundred years after the French destroyed Leonardo's horse.

Leonardo da Vinci is widely reported to have been a vegetarian & to have abhorred animal cruelty. In The Mind of Leonardo da Vinci (1928), Edward MacCurdy wrote:

"…The mere idea of permitting the existence of unnecessary suffering, still more that of taking life, was abhorrent to him. Vasari tells, as an instance of his love of animals, how when in Florence he passed places where birds were sold he would frequently take them from their cages with his own hand, and having paid the sellers the price that was asked would let them fly away in the air, thus giving them back their liberty."

As I sit in my apartment, shrouded in silence as the streets stand still for the Melbourne cup, I cant help but wonder if it will take another 500 years before we stop using animals as a source of entertainment. The U.S. Jockey Club in New York estimates that around 600 horses died at racetracks in 2006, not to mention all the injuries that were inflicted. I know that the punters today will be greeted by a small band of protesters, I wish I had the courage to join them. Horse racing not only involves animal cruelty but is compounded by the evil that is gambling; many people will loose money today & for some it will be money that they cannot afford to lose. The online Australian reports that New South Welshmen & Victorians have already handed over $17.7 million in Melbourne cup bets & according to NSW Gaming and Racing, last year punters in the state (in the STATE!) bet more than $45 million at the TAB on the Melbourne Cup feature race alone.

Monday, November 3, 2008

I'M A LADY


Growing up with three older brothers I was bound to turn out a tomboy. My mother didn’t help the cause as she was fond of hand-me-downs & fancied herself to be “just as good as the hairdresser” which usually left me with butchered short hair or a standard bowl cut. You’d think, seeing she’d wanted a girl so much, that she would have fostered more “femininity” but my poor mother was the product of a family full of testosterone herself. Just look at these photos – you would swear I was a boy, in fact I used to get mistaken for being a lad right up until my late teens! It has only been in the last year or so that I have noticed just how unfeminine I am, it never used to bother me but as I get older I have become all too aware of it. I am a work in progress, hopefully by the time I reach 40 I will be a “L A D Y” – polished & refined….....& all that #@$%!

TODAY'S TREASURE


My husband on the night shift - a day of silence while he slumbers. The welcome rain is the only sound to be heard.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

SUNDAY





My husband is on night duty at the moment so I try to stay outdoors while he sleeps. I took myself of to the botanical gardens today, problem was it seemed everyone else in Melbourne had the same idea. I hadn't been for a couple of weeks & what a difference - the water lilies were in bloom as well as azaleas in every shade of pink. I met a large sulphur crested cockatoo that was chomping away on some type of conifer, he was a very curious fellow. I think I got a bit sunburt too, despite me slathering on the sunscreen. Can anyone tell me the name of the pink & mauve flowers at the top? They look like some type of poppy.

TODAY'S TREASURE


Going shopping to buy my niece Amber Jade a pair of purple Converse for her 16th birthday - remembering how much I loved my red pair when I was young.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

TODAY'S TREASURE


On my way to the grocery store I saw a fat juicy caterpilar chomping it's way through a leaf. I smiled wondering what colour it's wings will be after it has undergone its transformation.

THREE BEAUTIFUL THINGS

I have just been reading in a book about a Blog called "Three Beautiful Things" which is authored by Clare Grant, a writer from the U.K. It is a place where Clare records & shares 3 things from her day from which she derived pleasure. I've just spent awhile reading through a few of her entries; some of which are profound; others which were laugh out loud funny; & then there are those which are just ordinary, everyday delights. Clare has inspired countless other people around the world to do the same -what a challenge this would be for me! I'd settle for just one....I am way to pessimistic & cynical & really need to focus on the things I have to be thankful for.

Take a visit to Clare's blog, you wont be disappointed: http://threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com/

TEMPTATIONS

I have just been searching for a quote in John Naish's "Enough: breaking free from the world of more" & I finally found it after much frustration. It describes what may just happen if we did all become unmaterialistic & learned to practice "enoughness":

And what would actually happen if joy could be lassoed & tamed? In Will Ferguson's satirical novel 'Happiness', a self help book is finally published that does the unthinkable: it works. Everyone becomes happy. As a result, the global economy collapses. People stop buying stuff that they previously thought would make them feel better. The book's hero sees it coming: 'our entire economy is built on human weaknesses,' he cautions. 'Hair salons. Male mid-life crises. Shopping binges. Our entire way of life is built on self-doubt & dissatisfaction. If people were ever really, truly happy, truly satisfied with their lives, it would be cataclysmic.'

Who knows what would happen....maybe if things keep going the way the are, there won't be any choice in the matter - we will have to become less materialistic. A report released by the AFP (Agence France Presse) a few days ago is an interesting read: http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5i9E0IVeO1XtaHM1XjuHgrsh8hY-g